Squeegee Moment

I was the first car stopped at a stop light while driving back from lunch. This moderate inconvenience was exacerbated when I realized there was a homeless woman with a squeegee by me. I indicated that I didn’t want my windshield washed, but she proceed to cleanse or dirty the window, depending on your perspective.

squeegee moment

At that moment, I thought “oh shit, I better give her a dollar or some feces will undoubtedly be flung.” I rolled down my window and handed her a dollar. This is when it got a little weird. She told me, “baby, make sure you say your personal prayers. You can’t say them aloud or the devil will hear them.” Then she took her squeegee and painted a heart in dirty water on my side window. It was a tad strange and sadly, that peculiar moment was the most affection I’ve had in about six month.

Anyway, what i learned today is the devil can hear your prayers if you say them aloud, so you should silently say them in your mind at least according to the homeless woman I encountered.

If you are genuinely questioning whether the devil is omniscient, you might visit these sites:

Reset Garbage Disposal

Yesterday I tried to turn on my garbage disposal. I heard a low electrical hum at first. The noise was the same as you might hear when an ice cream maker doesn’t have the noise to turn anymore. Then the noise became nothing and all subsequent attempts to operate the disposal resulted in no noise and the disposal didn’t run.

My first thought was – Oh shit. Then I went to Amazon. They have a pretty badass garbage disposal buyers guide here. The Amazon guide is pretty good at trying to help you buy a new disposal, but it isn’t intended to help you fix your current disposal.

I called my father. He quickly informed me that my disposal wasn’t dead. He suggested either shoving a broom handle into the sink to move the blades or use a 5/16 hex wrench. The latter approach is better if you have the time to find the right tools. Here is a nice standard set with a 5/16, and this is a more specialized 5/16 hex key that might allow you to get more torque. He said the next step after the disposal turns some is to press the reset key. Here is a youtube video with similar steps in case you learn better that way –

Here is the picture from the underside of my disposal.

garbage disposal reset

After turning the blades some, I hit the reset button, and I was back in the business. The disposal is up and running like this dark and tragic incident had never happened.

If you end up having to replace the disposal, here is a really good Youtube video. This guy has a plug in the wall for his. I am pretty sure I would have to flip the circuit breaker in my house to turn off the electricity to the unit in my place. When I thought I might have to buy a new unit, I asked if I could replace a 1/3 HP unit with a 1/2 HP unit. i was told that was no biggie. My friend also recommended splurging since the more expensive units are substantially more quiet. Since I am a bachelor who might run the disposal once a week, I felt like that wouldn’t have been a worthwhile investment.

.6% Of The Population Has A Micropenis

Have you heard of a micropenis?

I hadn’t until the other day when my co-worker told me they were the topic of conversation with her friends. Apparently, they are a real thing. There is even a Wikipedia page about them. According to this page, you might have a micropenis if you come in at under 3 inches while standing at attention.

My co-worker indicated an entire community exists for these folks. I’d think it would be fairly large if they really are .6% of the population. From what I can surmise, hormone exposure in intrauterine are the main cause. Currently, doctors try to treat the afflicted with doses of testosterone. Much to my shock and dismay, many of these boys were transformed to quasi girls during the 1960’s and 1970’s. That sounds like something right out of one of Hitler’s mad scientist’s playbooks.

Anyway, I hope these chaps can find love and happiness. Everyone in this World deserves their fair dosage.

Songs I Like

(Added As I Find them)

  • Terence Jay – One Blood

I heard this song while watching Green Street Hooligans and had to find a copy. I still enjoy it weeks later. I find it slow and soothing. You can find a version on Youtube if you don’t have other means. I would embed it myself, but my desire to be sued lessens the older I become.

My first thought when I saw this song being performed was, “wow, that is one big dude.” My thoughts quickly turned to the beauty of the voice. It is an amazing legacy for a life cut far too short.

Israel Kamakawiwo'ole facing future somewhere over the rainbow cover art

The theme of this song simply states one my overarching feeling in life. Honestly, who isn’t lost in their mind much of the time? It’s also quite the cheerful and upbeat tune. The cover arts a little odd though.

The Head and the heart cover art

One Republic is one of those bands I feel guilty for liking. In recent years they’ve had the foot stomping hits Marchin On and Apologize. My shame came from the fact that these songs sounded like they belonged to the teenage girl set. This sense of shame changed once I heard Counting Stars. I realized One Republic has depth only gained through life experience few if any teenage girls have obtained.

 

one republic native cover art

This is one of the happiest, most inspiring songs I know. You are in one hell of a funk if this song doesn’t make you feel better. Fans of this band have put a wonderfully fun video on Youtube with this song. I highly recommend searching for it.

above and beyond sirens of the sea cover